to blog or not to blog?

first, where's my hat? the former question i asked once upon an former life. my friend emarie said, blog if you feel you have something important to say. back then the things i felt needed to be said involved the state of how many souls were damned in the universe, and manipulative flirtations attempting to gain as many people as i could over to my side of the fence. all in good intentions, of course. i had every answer to every question, a comfort for every pain, save one. one big one. that whole, most everyone is going to hell thing.

now we fast forward a few years and here i am, damned. swimming willingly in a sea of sins, having waded through the numb of addiction, and now just experimenting with this whole concept of the "game." as a tortured realist reared in isolation, i am always quite excited to truly connect to another human being. and following a lifetime of separation, followed by eight years of marriage, my entrance to the real world stripped of the only values i'd ever known has been rather... interesting.

i think in music and lyrics, and i sing and i write and i am hard. and soft, and i struggle.

and now, it's time for flashcards. as i avoid a paper, i will hate myself for typing these words to this invisible audience, then i remember the prayers i sent to an empty heaven, toward a great void in the sky and i think, i really always did live for an audience of one.

night wIggy