100% on pharm quiz, and more.

when you have a chaotic life, people react to the chaos. some people experience pain and inflict it on others- i have been a person who struggles with this in the form of irritability associated with anxiety. whether contained to road rage, or the occasional screaming at my cat, usually i succeed in behaving appropriately. except when i don't. work is stressful for me, and i was irritable there, and that created an open for them to discuss my fall placement for next year.

this is what it means to "lean out." and, following conversations with my therapist this morning, and gwen last night, probably for the better. two people who have my best interest in mind and always have refer to my work environment as "toxic," which i might fight against were it for the feelings in my heart. every bit of that job, save my kids and a few bright souls, drain the life from me, and rip open wounds never healed.

it is the effervescent lemon being squeezed into my cuts and scabs. and for why? because of love. and a naive heart, a servant's heart ripped out and capitalized on. but that of course, is what capitalists' do. sit up atop their power and find profit on the tears of the weak. if those who suffer voice their pain, they will surely be blamed for it, and ultimately, if someone weaker, easier to control can replace that person, all the better.

and when i'm thriving, i'll remember. i'll wave goodbye and be grateful for what they taught me. they taught me how to love fully and completely, and how to fully suffer. they taught me to discriminate in the type of people i associate with, and mostly they taught me when to leave them all behind.